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Yes!
Partly, for me this is an autistic/HSP thing. When I’m talking to someone, I get so much social information from them that I have to interpret (body language, gestures, speech, tone, eye contact). And if I try to follow too many people’s reactions... I can’t process it. It’s totally overwhelming.
It’s easier if I know someone well enough to have ‘shorthand’ for it. So I can talk to maybe 3 relatives, or 1 stranger.
The other part is handling my own internal reactions and processing, which are all pretty conscious and not automatic.
Normal ‘communication’ stuff.
Did they understand what I just said? Do I need to rephrase or explain something?
Their emotional response.
Are they bored? Uncomfortable? Do they want to say something?
What do I need to do to make sure they’re comfy and happy?
My emotional response.
If someone is bored: oh my god insecurity. If I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to say the thing: reluctance and anxiety. If I’m having trouble saying what I mean and they’re losing interest: panic.
This weird sense that I’m ...responsible for their social experience, kinda?
Am I “contributing”? Which way should we go from here?
Like. One person of that is enough to handle. (And that stuff is worse with people I know really well, because I care more about what they think.)
Having this stuff spinning in my head is involuntary. But at least, if I’m in a big group, I can tune out the others if I pick one person to focus on.
Also, trying to people-please with more than one person -- when sometimes people want conflicting things -- and then, you’re trying to weigh whose approval is more important to you -- that’s just ... ugh, Doom Spiral.
when you’re in a group of people, do you ever find yourself interacting with only one person in that group and ignoring the rest?
even if you’re comfortable with most people in the group individually, does that change if you come together as a group?