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8 Ways For Highly Sensitive People to Break Free From Loneliness

October 31, 2019

Although it has taken me some time to write this article, I have been actively experimenting with techniques to break free from the loneliness I discussed in my last article.

I have recently discovered that loneliness can be temporary or it may be complex and chronic in nature. I am also realizing there is no quick and easy fix to my chronic sense of loneliness.

I do not believe one is hopeless in such a situation, as the healing process requires time and patience to overcome this obstacle.

I know many highly sensitive people can relate to my experience with loneliness. Therefore, I would love to share with you eight beneficial coping strategies that are bringing me a sense of relief on my healing path!

8 Ways a Highly Sensitive Person Can Break Free From the Chains of Loneliness and Gain a Sense of Connection!

1. Awareness

Being aware that you are lonely, rather than simply embracing solitude can be the first step to addressing an issue with loneliness. Having awareness about your vulnerabilities such as being HSP, experiencing grief, trauma, etc... It is also important to be aware that you are not alone and that there are others out there going through similar experiences. There truly is an abundance of support and like minded people in the world if you are willing to receive it!

2. Healing Work

Many highly sensitive people come from backgrounds filled with complex trauma or abuse that may have impacted the body mind and spirit of these sensitive souls. Therefore, an integrative approach may be beneficial in order to address the various underlying aspects that lead to a chronic sense of loneliness. For example, tending to one's physical, mental, and spiritual needs. Healing modalities may range from counseling, addiction recovery, therapy, support groups, alternative methods, and general health care. It may also require a degree of patience along with vigilance during the healing process and I know it is not an easy path (but worth it!)

3. Make Connection a Priority and Build It Into a Routine.

 An excellent way to integrate a sense of connection with routine, is by starting small and increasing socialization gradually. Since everyone has different personal and social needs, increasing one's sense of connection may look different from person to person. This may simply include going out for a walk, a friendly greeting to another person, connecting with the essence of nature, blocking out a specific time to spend with a close friend regularly. I personally find elements of comfort to be helpful( i.e. person, place, object, or existing routine), while transitioning to a new routine. As you gradually experiment with this concept, observe how each activity makes you feel to track progress over time. Over time, you can gain momentum and see how far you have come!

4. Seek Out Connections With Like Minded People and Value Existing Connections

As highly sensitive people, we tend to value deep connections and prefer depth over breadth in relationships rather than quantity. I know this can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration for HSPs. I do believe it to be few and far between to find such connections but they do exist! Although it is rare, many of us have experienced these connections at some point in our lives and I am extremely grateful for those special connections as many people may never experience this in a lifetime!

Seeking out connections with like minded people can be comforting. You will also find that many others are going through similar experiences and not only need support but want to be supportive as well. By being available and of service to others, one can experience a sense of relief as well as connections.

 5. Lower Expectations With Others 

One thing I have observed about myself,(and many people in general) is a tendency to have unrealistic expectations about people without considering people's differences. I am learning that everyone approaches and processes situations differently, particularly in comparison to highly sensitive people. I also find that a great number of people in this day in age are not truly capable or available for healthy intimacy. Therefore, I realize the unnecessary struggle of taking things as personally.

6. Grounding

 There are a variety of ways to ground or center one's self.I find t connecting with nature to have profound effects, particularly after my recent visit to Alaska( ie. witnessing the beautiful scenery such as the northern lights). This can be a great way to not only embrace the sensory experience but escape from a ruminating mind. Exercises such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or shielding energy with an imaginary white light or bubble can create a similar grounding effect.

Lastly, striving for a sense of autonomy and breaking free from entanglements/relationships that create energetic codependency can help protect a person's energy. Taking a walk and connecting with nature can also be a helpful technique to switch from a ruminating mind into the senses.

7. Busy Your Schedule Doing What You Love

 Volunteer for a cause that you value or participate in a hobby such as a creative project you are passionate about. I find that by immersing myself in these activities, I experience a sense of connection, purpose, and being part of something greater than myself and my struggles.

8.Connect With Yourself and Love Yourself Unconditionally

This can also be a great opportunity to embrace solitude and experience the oneness with life!

 Reexamine old beliefs about yourself or past experiences and see if it is an obstacle from putting yourself out there into the world. Many times we believe lies about ourselves and miss the opportunities to reach our potentials and create our dream lives as a result of false self beliefs. 

Learning to have self compassion and acceptance can be a great way to connect with yourself and love yourself unconditionally. I know this can take time and it can be rough at times but please remember that feelings are not always facts and whatever you are going through will pass.  Filling yourself with love and acceptance create self sufficiency. With this self sufficiency, I believe one can more easily love and connect with others as well as extend that love to others with a fuller love tank!

Thank you for letting me share about my experience with loneliness and the lessons I have learned regarding this issue! There truly can be so much more to this than simply needing to be around people as it is often more about experiencing healing and connection! How do you cope with loneliness or experience connection?

With Love,

Dahlia

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Defining The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

For as long as I can remember, I have felt hyper sensitive not only to the behavior and emotions of other’s but to physical pain and the environment as well. I have always felt too much and often experienced a sense of overwhelm without even knowing where it came from at times. I have experienced the bitter sweetness that so many HSP’S know all too well. Like many HSP’S, I have often felt extremely misunderstood and have experienced difficulty fitting in with society. On the same note, I have witnessed this high level of sensitivity to be one of my greatest attributes. Being highly sensitive has been an absolute blessing in my work in the healing arts in fields such as hospice and massage therapy. The HSP trait has also been an invaluable asset as it has been linked to experiencing a range of emotions, deeply empathizing with others, and facilitating creative expression. If you or someone you know can relate to these traits, you are certainly not alone and may very well be a highly sensitive person.In this post, I would like to briefly note a number of variations describing the highly sensitive person. 

The HSP Defined

Although there are various types of Highly Sensitive people, the following descriptions are examples of ways HSP’s have been described in general:

 Dr Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D, author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, in an article titled What Does It Mean To Be Highly Sensitive? describes the HSP demeanor as a particular trait found in one’s personality. She defines an HSP as a person who responds to mental, physical, and emotional stimulation acutely. She explains that being a highly sensitive person is normal and about 15-20% of the population with a particular gene are considered to be a highly sensitive person. There has also been evidence based research in the field of psychology suggesting the HSP trait is, indeed, a real trait some people truly acquire. This personality trait is called SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity), indicating that the HSP actually has neural differences from most of the population. 

In the previously mentioned article, Dr Aron goes on to mention that the HSP has pros and cons. Some of the positive traits included involve traits such as empathy, intuition, being highly attuned to another’s needs, and creativity. Infact, many HSP’s have careers in fields such as therapy, counseling, writing, artistry, and music. Some negative aspects of being an HSP include being easily overwhelmed, tiring easily, and are very sensitive to other’s emotions. She explains more about the scientific research regarding the HSP on her website. 

Another author known for her work in this field is Dr Judith Orloff MD. She has written many books and articles geared to the highly sensitive person and I have personally enjoyed reading her work. In Psychology Today, she mentions that highly sensitive people have a low tolerance for stimulation and a preference for spending time alone. She also mentions the HSP having a sensitivity to sound, light, and smell as well as experiencing a sensitivity to large crowds. Although HSP’s can be extroverts, she mentions that most HSP’s tend to be introverts.    

In this post, I briefly described my experience as an HSP as well as several descriptions of the HSP by experts in the field of Psychology. Since this blog is dedicated to supporting and connecting with other HSP’s or anyone interested in the topic, I intend to create more informative posts as I continue my journey. I believe there is an abundance of knowledge we can all learn from eachother on this journey from surviving to thriving as highly sensitive people. 

With love,

Dahlia

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