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This is a joking rant so don’t mind me
I love Drukkari fanfiction, they’re usually so cute and adorable. But some of it is so unrealistic. Like what do you mean Makkari was living peacefully in America during 1775? I’m not sure if people remember but that’s when slavery was around. Also, why don’t people ever mention slavery, homophobia, or ableism in this fanfics. Like how do you wanna write about World War Two, the plague, etc but not slavery. You can’t write them thought out all of history but ignore racism because I’ve seen fanfictions where they’re in certain years and they talk about how Makkari or Phastos was chilling in America like why are you lying?
Also I low key wanna see the eternals jump some racists for Makkari, Phastos, Kingo, etc. like jump them like the characters in JJK be jumping curses.
*Karun filming for the documentary*
Kingo: Good responses for being stabbed in the back? GO!
Makkari *signing*: Rude.
Druig: Seems fair.
Ikaris:Not again.
Thena: Do you want it back?
Gilgamesh: Nice, where did you get this blade?
Sersi: Auch? That wasn't really nice of you.
Sprite: Finally a end to my eternal suffering.
Phastos: Just do it quickly, I have a lot to do.
*Ajax just dosen't know how to deal with this, too much to fix*
Ikaris: What I do is look a person up and down, and say "how you doing"
Kingo: Oh, please.
Ikaris: Hey, pretty how you doing?
*Kingo giggles like a teen girl*
Sersi: I'm done with this. I'm going to sleep. Ikaris, spoon with me. We need to huddle for the warmth.
* Ikaris going too Sersi*
Kingo: No, Ikaris is my best friend, he's going to spoon with me!
Sersi: I called first spoon, beside's he's my husband! Ikaris come over here right now!
Kingo: Ikaris, don't throw away a lifelong friendship for a one nigh spoon with angel pie over there.
Ikaris:Ok, enough! We are going to lay down and triple spoon like grown ups! Come'on bring it in!
Makkari*signing*: If one of you had to pick one of the other guys to go out with who would you pick.
Gilgamesh*rolling his eyes while sigining*:I'm not answering that.
Phastos*signing*:I'm not dating any of this morons.
Kingo*signing and whispering*: Ikaris...
Druig*signing while sinning*: BI! BI! BI!
Ikaris: I feel flattered Kingo :)
Makkari *signing*: Red or blue dress for tonight?
Druig*signing*: Oh, I don't know you'll look beautiful in whatever you decide.
Makkari*signing*: Oh, thanks dear. But I'm having a hard time deciding, I was hoping you could pick.
Druig*signing*: Love, either way you'll be the most beautiful girl at the party, I love you so much.
Makkari*signing*:Okay, I love you too and know you think I'm beautiful and this isn't a weird test, I just need to know.
Druig*signing*: I prefer you just the way you're.
Makkari*signing while rushing to Kingo's room*: Oh my fucking god. Hey Kingo red or blue dress for tonight.
Kingo*signing*: Blue one, red makes you look like a bitch.
Makkari *signing*: Thanks, bitch.
Ikaris*whispering to Kingo*:I think Sersi is undressing me with her eyes.
Kingo: I don't think so, dude she's eating chips.
Druig: What are you guys talking about?
Ikaris:Nothing.
Druig: Come'on I won't laugh or say something, I'm bored.
Ikaris: Fine, but I swear to god if you do say something.
Druig:Yeah, you will burn me with your laser eyes. So go ahead tell me.
Kingo: He thinks Sersi is undressing him with her eyes.
Druig*running away*: No, because she isn't laughing, you morons.
*Everyone standing in front of the broken ship*
Phastos*signing*: So who broke it? I'm not mad I just wanna know.
Sersi*signing too*: I did it, I broke it.
Phastos*signing*: No, no you didn't. Druig anything to say?
Druig*signing*: Don't look at me, look at Ikaris.
Ikaris*signing*: What? I didn't break it!
Druig*signing*:Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it's broken huh?
Makkari*signing*: Dear....
Ikari*signing*: For the last time Druig I didn't broke it!
Druig:Suspicious...
Ikaris: NO, is not!
Thena*whispering*: Wanna go get coffe?
Gligamesh*whispering back*:Yeah, let's leave this bullshit.
Kingo*signing*: If It matters, probably not, but Sprite was the last one to use it, for that mission.
Sprite*signing*:Liar! I don't even touch that crap!
Phastos: Hey, hey, hey. It's not a crap.
Kingo*signing*: Oh, really Sprite, then why did you enter the ship before.
Sprite*signing*: It's where I have my console! Everybody knows that!
Sersi:Ok, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Phastos.
Phastos:No, who of you broke it!
Makkari*signing*:This is fucking stupid.
Druig*signing*: I'll say it again. It was defently Ikaris, he's the one with laser eyes, and he's been awfully quiet.
Ikaris*signing while screaming*: OH REALLY?! You're a big piece of shit.
Makkar*signing*:Oh, you shouldn't say that.
*everyone starts to argue*
*Phastos leaving following Gligamesh and Thena*
Phastos: I'm the one who broke it, I wanted to try this thing of Star Wars, that makes you wanna go to the speed of light.
Gligamesh: Yeah, we know it's you.
Thena: Interesting mind game, my friend...
Phastos: Poor dummies.
Karun: Uhmm, Sir I have a question? How do sir Druig and miss Makkari get out big messes?
Kingo: Bold of you to assume that they get out of them, they just make one worse, and cancel the first one.
Kingo:Are you in love with Ikkaris?
Sprite*awkward sweats*:...no
Kingo: Then why did you draw S+I all over your notebook with the biggest amount of hearts i ever seen.
Sprite: Oh, easy it's stands for "suck internet".
Druig: Stabbing someone is inmoral?
Sersi: You're not going to stab my husband druig.
Sprite: Yeah, don't stab Ikaris.
Phastos: I mean if he consents it, where's the harm in that?
Kingo: And it depends where you stab him.
Ikaris: I'm sorry what?
Kingo*signing*: Come, on Makkari, I know you and Druig have a weird thing.
Makkari*pissed signing*: That's not true, he's my friend, like you.
Kingo*signing*:Ok, what do bees make?
Makkari*signing confused*: Honey?
*Druig going to hug Makkari from behind*
Druig*signing while hugging her*: What do you need beautiful?
Kingo: Why does she look like that?
Sprite*facedown on the floor*: Like what?
Kingo: Like you're dead.
Sprite: Because I'm dead.
Ajax*writing something in her notepad*: Ikaris made public his relationship with Sersie, making out with her in public.
*Sprite now living with Kingo and Karun*
Kingo: Hey, Sprite. Are you tall enough to play basketball?
Sprite:Again, are you calling me short? In what you think is funny...
Kingo:Huh, I'm the funniest man ever, right Karun?
Karun:YES SIR!
Phastos*signing*: How did you guys break the bed again?
Kingo*signing*: Yeah, what were you guys even doing?
Druig*signing*:Uhm..
*LAST NIGHT*
Druig*signing*: I bet you can't jump high enough to touch the celling, without using your powers.
Makkari*signing*: Try me, bitch.
Kingo*signing*: I got a plan. It might get us both killed, but if works it will be a total boss story. Cool?
Makkari*signing*: No, it's not cool!
Kingo*signing*:Cool.
Makkari*signing*:No, no. I signed it's not cool!
Sprite: I HATE YOU WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BODY KINGO!
Kingo*laughing*: Well, that's not a lot of inches.
Kingo *signing*: Would you take a bullet for me Makkari?
Makkari *signing confused*: Uhm, yes. I guess...
*Druig angrily smashing his book on the floor*
Kingo *signing*: Great, thanks!
Druig*stopping Kingo*: Where do you think you're going?!
Karun: Amazing sir. I got that on camera!
Kingo: Karun, a bit of help here!
Karun: Sir, I think sir Druig dosen't want that. And it would be better for the documentary sir Kingo!
Phastos *signing*: Uhmm what did you with our ship?
Makkari*signing*: Uhm, I'll let Druig answer that.
Druig *signing*: So you know we had a lot of time and well she rebordered the cylinder, modified the intake valves on the injection system, added a blower and installed a 5 pound nitrous thank.
Makkari*signing*: And he put some cool stickers!
Kingo: You know normal couples have sex.
Sersi: Druig sleeps after us and is awake before us. Does he even sleep?
Kingo: I think he periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.
*Druig and Makkari walking by holding hands*
Druig: Shut the fuck up Kingo.
Makkari*signing*: Love, I wonder that too.
Druig*sining*: You too my dear?
Kingo: Did you get that on camera Karun?
Karun: YES SIR!
Sprite: *Gets mad and starts yelling*
Kingo:I didn't know so much rage could fit in such small creature.