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This is a joking rant so don’t mind me
I love Drukkari fanfiction, they’re usually so cute and adorable. But some of it is so unrealistic. Like what do you mean Makkari was living peacefully in America during 1775? I’m not sure if people remember but that’s when slavery was around. Also, why don’t people ever mention slavery, homophobia, or ableism in this fanfics. Like how do you wanna write about World War Two, the plague, etc but not slavery. You can’t write them thought out all of history but ignore racism because I’ve seen fanfictions where they’re in certain years and they talk about how Makkari or Phastos was chilling in America like why are you lying?
Also I low key wanna see the eternals jump some racists for Makkari, Phastos, Kingo, etc. like jump them like the characters in JJK be jumping curses.
Good morning to everyone except the girl sitting behind me in eternals who said nothing when Ikaris and Seris literally fucked but went "ewwww" when Phastos and Ben kissed. Go die in a hole.
Jack: Uncle Druig, what's a thot? Druig*about to crack up*: A thoughtful person, kiddo.
*later at the dinner table*
Jack: Daddie can you pass the salt?
Phastos:Sure kid.
Jack:Thanks daddie, you're such a thot.
Phastos: DRUIG! What did you do?!
*Druig and Phastos drunk*
Druig: Do you notice that whatever Ikaris does pisses off everyone?
Phastos: Totally!
*Ikaris doing his own thing eating chicken*
Druig: Look at that bitch eating chicken like nothing.
Phastos: Why you eating chicken bitch?
Makkari*signing*: If one of you had to pick one of the other guys to go out with who would you pick.
Gilgamesh*rolling his eyes while sigining*:I'm not answering that.
Phastos*signing*:I'm not dating any of this morons.
Kingo*signing and whispering*: Ikaris...
Druig*signing while sinning*: BI! BI! BI!
Ikaris: I feel flattered Kingo :)
*In the early 2000's*
Phastos *filiming Ajax*: Mother are you homophobic?
Ajax: Number one you're gay.
Phastos*cracking up*
Ajax*pointing at Sprite*: Number two I have a non binary kid.
Phastos*cracking up more*
Ajax: Number three I watch Rupal's drag race, how can I be homophobic Phastos?!
Phastos:Isn't there no way we can get rid of him?
Ajax: No without a cause Phastos, beside we talked about this...
Phastos:I have causes, it is be-cause I hate him.
Jack: Auntie Thena, I have problems with a boy.
Thena:" I can't hide his dead body" problems or " I like him" problems?
Jack: Uhm, I like him problems.
Thena: I got nothing on that, I could have helped with the other one thought, go ask your uncle Gligamesh.
Phastos: Jack, no.
*Everyone standing in front of the broken ship*
Phastos*signing*: So who broke it? I'm not mad I just wanna know.
Sersi*signing too*: I did it, I broke it.
Phastos*signing*: No, no you didn't. Druig anything to say?
Druig*signing*: Don't look at me, look at Ikaris.
Ikaris*signing*: What? I didn't break it!
Druig*signing*:Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it's broken huh?
Makkari*signing*: Dear....
Ikari*signing*: For the last time Druig I didn't broke it!
Druig:Suspicious...
Ikaris: NO, is not!
Thena*whispering*: Wanna go get coffe?
Gligamesh*whispering back*:Yeah, let's leave this bullshit.
Kingo*signing*: If It matters, probably not, but Sprite was the last one to use it, for that mission.
Sprite*signing*:Liar! I don't even touch that crap!
Phastos: Hey, hey, hey. It's not a crap.
Kingo*signing*: Oh, really Sprite, then why did you enter the ship before.
Sprite*signing*: It's where I have my console! Everybody knows that!
Sersi:Ok, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Phastos.
Phastos:No, who of you broke it!
Makkari*signing*:This is fucking stupid.
Druig*signing*: I'll say it again. It was defently Ikaris, he's the one with laser eyes, and he's been awfully quiet.
Ikaris*signing while screaming*: OH REALLY?! You're a big piece of shit.
Makkar*signing*:Oh, you shouldn't say that.
*everyone starts to argue*
*Phastos leaving following Gligamesh and Thena*
Phastos: I'm the one who broke it, I wanted to try this thing of Star Wars, that makes you wanna go to the speed of light.
Gligamesh: Yeah, we know it's you.
Thena: Interesting mind game, my friend...
Phastos: Poor dummies.
Phastos: Why did you give my kid a knife again?
Thena: Easy, he said he felt unsafe, so I gave him one of my knives and show him some tricks.
Phastos:Now, I feel unsafe...
Thena: Want a knife?
Phastos*signing*: How did you guys break the bed again?
Kingo*signing*: Yeah, what were you guys even doing?
Druig*signing*:Uhm..
*LAST NIGHT*
Druig*signing*: I bet you can't jump high enough to touch the celling, without using your powers.
Makkari*signing*: Try me, bitch.
Phastos: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how " hot" you are.
Druig: It not a joke, it never was. I'm legit a snack.
Phastos*deep breathe*
Sersie: Today is Ikaris and my one-year-aniversary!
Phastos: O what is it? The first kiss? The first date? The first time having sex? The first I love you? What is it?
Sersie: Uhm, well... Yes, just yes.
Phastos *signing*: Uhmm what did you with our ship?
Makkari*signing*: Uhm, I'll let Druig answer that.
Druig *signing*: So you know we had a lot of time and well she rebordered the cylinder, modified the intake valves on the injection system, added a blower and installed a 5 pound nitrous thank.
Makkari*signing*: And he put some cool stickers!
Kingo: You know normal couples have sex.
Phastos: Every talk I have with you people gets more stupid!
Gligamesh: You say "you people" as if you're not part of the family.
Druig: And that's quite offensive, since I bring extremily interessing ideas in the chats we have.
Kingo*signing*: Oh, yeah super interesting like Makkari hair smells like flowers, or Makkari is so smart.
*Makkari suddently stopping reading the book*
Druig *signing*: Yeah, so what? She's perfect.
Makkari *blushing*
Phastos: Yeah, still not getting used to this.
Phastos: You're alive.
Ikaris: There's no need to sound so dissapointed.