Carwood Lipton - Blog Posts

Lipton: Why is there blood everywhere? ? ! !

Speirs: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife .

Lipton: yoU STABBED SOMEONE! ! ?? ! ?

Speirs: No no, aggressively poked them with a knife.

no i will not elaborate

shifty: do you ever feel bugs on you when there are no bugs?

speirs: those are the ghosts of all the bugs you’ve killed

shifty:

lipton: look what you did, you scared him you stupid idiot

Winter: Lip, gather the others, we need to have another Luz-is-doing-somethlng-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-hlm-before-he-hurts-someone convention .

happy nineteenth anniversary, band of brothers

we few, we happy few, we band of brothers

some bob trios:

Harry, Lip, Speirs: Harry, The Third Wheel

Dick, Speirs, Nix: Weirdly Competent Trio? they get shit done really fast and with minimal corrections-- which is weird, considering how goddamn chaotic their work system is

Dick, Speirs, Lip: Dick, The Third Wheel-- only he doesnt always know it. sometimes it's Dick, The Cockblock and when it is, he ALWAYS knows it, does it on purpose, and it pisses Ron and Lip off immensely

Dick, Nix, Harry: Classic Officer Trio, but also: you'd think Harry's the 3rd wheel-- you're wrong. Harry is the Oblivious Cockblock Offering Booze & Poker, Dick is the Third Wheel with Blue Balls, and Nix is the one who can never turn down a good game of poker

Dick, Lip, Nix: the familiar tableu of a spouse impatiently waiting for his husband to stop talking to their friend at the grocery store-- in this case, Lip is the friend, and Nix and Dick are the husbands but whoever does the impatient waiting depends entirely on the day they're having

Nix, Speirs, Harry: the "Our Braincells Are With Our Spouses" club, aka: the "Most Likely To Be Arrested" trio, aka: the "Someone Always Ends Up In The Hospital" gang, aka: the "Leaving Them Unsupervised Is Illegal and Punishable By Law" squad. surprisingly more chaotic energy than the classic mortar squad, ESPECIALLY when drunk

Skip, Penk, Malark: Classic Mortar Squad

Skip, Penk, Bill: Mortar Babies + Proud Daddy Bill

Skip, Malark, Babe: "Babe, no." "Babe, YES!"

Pat, Frank, Grant: XoXo, Gossip Gang

Pat, Bull, Johnny: Bitch Face Trio

Webster, Hoobler, Van Klinken: God help them they have 1/3rd of a braincell each and none of them know how to put it all together to make it work

Babe, Lieb, Grant: love causing mischief, but it’s pg-13 mischief at most bc Grant exudes calm and control. but also: the bane of Ron Speirs' existence. the three of them aren't scared of him so to have them all in one room together infuriates him to no end.

George, Pat, Frank: Let's Bully O'Keefe

Toye, Bill, George: a weird cross between "George, shut the FUCK up!" and #WillDieForGeorgeLuz

Bill, Ralph, Babe: Philly Gang, also: the bane of Eugene Roe's existence

Ralph, Babe, Eugene: too soft, cuddles galore, will probably die for each other if given a chance so maybe don't give them that chance

Babe, Reneé, Eugene: Let's Bully Eugene Into Taking Care of Himself

Babe, Reneé, Ralph: Let's Bully Eugene Into Taking Care of Himself 2.0, but also: #WillDieForBabeHeffron 

Eugene, Dick, Lip: Worried Mama Gang

Bill, Babe, Julian: Bill suddenly finds himself the single father to two teenagers with 0 self-preservation and a #DoItForTheVine attitude

George, Ron, Lip: Ron and George respect each other deeply because they are both willing to die for one Clifford Carwood Lipton. Lip, otoh, would like the both of them to be fucking normal for once in their goddamn lives.

Bill, Johnny, Bull: Exasperated Uncles Too Sober For This Shit Squad. pretty chill, actually. a deep friendship over pints of beers. surprisingly 0 chaos energy

Dick, Nix, Tab: two gay dads and their himbo son

Frank, Penk, George: oh my god who let these three clowns congregate this is DANGEROUS think of Lip's blood pressure for crying out loud-- chaotic energy ×100000000

Skip, Buck, Toye: the Don Malarkey Fan Club

Buck, George, Malarkey: have scammed all of Easy out of their cigarettes, money, and dignity

Webster, Nix, Lieb: Web and Lieb WILL find something to bicker about and Nix WILL find way too much delight in playing devil's advocate just to see how far these two will go to contradict each other

Lip, Speirs, Nix: Nix and Speirs get along too well and Lip is like 99.99% of their impulse control

Pat, Webster, Janovec: Janovec and Web are surprisingly petty and salty together and it feeds Pat's wine-aunt soul to hear them talk shit about ppl who annoy them

Janovec, Tab, Skinny: Horny(TM)

Speirs, Moore, Toye: Feral(TM)

George, Frank, Tab: the instigators of the Easy Company pillow fight

Webster, Lieb, Cobb: have you seen Web and Lieb team up just to bitch at Cobb? it's GLORIOUS

Smokey, Webster, Pat: Cultured Warriors capable of creating some serious masterpieces together... if only they'd stop bickering for five seconds

Hoobler, Shifty, O'Keefe: smol beans who somehow? always manage to pick up smol animals? befriend stray kittens???? disney princess energy?????

Shifty, McClung, Eugene: they don't need to say much to each other to understand each other. in the silence, there is meaning, so in silence they stay. unless of course they have something to bitch about that these city dwellers they're surrounded with can't understand, then it's fair game.

Smokey, Skip, Lip: Let's Bully Lip-- even if Speirs is around because Smoke and Skip are just so unbearably charming in their ribbing even Speirs can't resist cracking a smile

Dick, Tab, Buck: just guys bein' dudes, jocks bein' tough. they talk exclusively in sports analogies

Lipton: Shifty, we have to talk.

Shifty: Yes, Seargent?

Lipton: Stop collecting frogs and hiding them in your foot locker.

Shifty: Sorry, sir its just-

Lipton: Captain Sobel might knock it over and hurt them, hide 'em in the showers.

Lipton: I can't believe you would do something this stupid!

George: I think we can all believe that I can do something this stupid.

Lipton: *kisses Speirs’ neck*

Speirs: what is this?

Lipton: affection

Speirs: disgusting

Speirs: ...

Speirs: do it again

some BoB characters as greek gods and goddesses because why not

dick winters - athena, goddess of the just war, wisdom and handicraft

lewis nixon - dionysus, god of wine, grape-harvest, fertility and festivity

harry welsh - eros, god of love

ronald speirs - ares, god of the violent war and brutality

carwood lipton - hestia, goddess of hearth, care and sacrifice

eugene roe - asclepius, god of medicine

darrell "shifty" powers - artemis, goddess of hunt, wild animals and moon

george luz - hermes, the herald of gods, protector of thieves, travellers and merchants

joe liebgott - nemesis, goddess of revenge

david webster - apollo, god of arts, light and knowledge

Speirs: Lip stop worrying about it! I'm fine. It was just a splinter.

Lipton: You were IMPALED!

Speirs: It was a large splinter.

i present to you:

easy co as new girl quotes

*none of the gifs are mine*

winters

nixon

spiers

guarnere

toye

roe

babe

lipton @ spiers

webster @ liebgott

bonus:

sobel

part 2??

thanks @floydtab again for your help 💕

Band of Brothers as coffee?

as if i wrote this out and tumblr deleted it so here we go again

Winters: a nice cool glass of milk

Nixon: 8 shots of irish espresso via IV drip

Webster: americano bup bup gotta stay awake, fresh, write

Liebgott: a nice cup of joe

Guarnere: What the fuck is a cappuccino

Toye: An Iced Tea

Luz: pours caprisun into his coffee

Doc Roe: chug it boi dont ever sleep a nice mocha 

Babe: No coffee just hot chocolate with whipped cream marshmallows and sometimes a dollop of icecream

Perconte: he just likes to nibble on the beans 

Lipton: just the foam

Speirs: Black Coffee. through a straw if hes feeling fancy

Malarkey: lil Flat White, sip sip

Martin: He just crushes the beans in his hand and sips the juice from his fist

Talbert: Frappacino, no nonsense

Muck: Coffee with salt

Malarkey: *running and yelling into the barracks* HEY! HEY!

Lipton, whispering: shhh Doc is finally asleep

Malarkey, whispering: sorry, my bad...

Lipton, whispering: so what’s up?

Malarkey, whispering: there’s a fire

I think bob fandom need this

Since we are all quarantined in my state there is nothing to do. Please tell which band of brothers boy I should draw to cure my boredom. I will post each drawing.

Babysitter Speirs: *hiding in the bathroom with a glass of wine*

Easy Company: *screaming and destroying the house*

Speirs, to the camera: Lipton is out of town, and I desperately needed a drink to get through the rest of the night. So I’m hiding in the bathroom, having a drink. Is that wrong?

Probably Luz: *breaking something expensive upstairs*

Speirs: They don’t ever go away. They want everything you have.

Speirs: *points camera under the door*

Shifty: *on the ground, staring through the crack curiously*

Speirs: See? He follows me everywhere.

Shifty: Hi.

Shifty: Hi.

Speirs: Hi.

Imagine the Easy boys finding a frickin' flame thrower.

Lipton: We are not taking the flame thrower-

Speirs: *grabs the flame thrower and uses it in mid air* BURN BABY BURN

Easy Company: *hides behind Lipton*

im here for hc that harry - bless his sweet irish soul - is completely blind that his two best friends are very much in love. And i mean like OBLIVIOUS. And everyone else knows that they are a couple and its not even a secret but harry just doesnt see it. Here are examples of what i mean:

- nix and dick are sitting on the sofa, nix attentivly listening to dick, one hand playing with dick’s hair. Harry dismisses it as ‘look, dick works late, he probably has a headache and nix is massaging his head’

- nix and dick are holding hands. Harry says dick often holds nix by the hand probably because the latter would just wonder off god knows where without supervision

- nix and dick are sleeping in the same bed. “Lip you are kidding me, right, sharing a bed doesnt mean anything. I mean the other day i caught you and Ron sleeping on the couch, next thing i know you will be telling me that the two of you are a thing”

Lip:

Easy company as cats

Dick -  Big ginger tomcat who always finds the best hiding spots to catch birds, well-mannered and rarely ever meows. Spends most of the day outside or curled up pressed to his owner, never bothering anyone though. Has a neat collar with a classic little nametag. You can trust him not to make any trouble if you forget to let him out into the garden when you leave for work in the morning. He likes water and sometimes stays outside in the rain chasing raindrops. Is best friends with the neighbour’s black persian.

Nix - Said black persian. His owners keep him in absolute luxury, feeding him tuna every day and brushing out the knots in his fur, but he runs out through his little cat door each afternoon and gets it messy again. Taught Dick how to use that cat door and now they trot in and out of the house as they please. Nix drinks milk at both of their places and scoffs at water. Generally lazy, but doesn’t protest against stroking or cuddling.

Speirs - Cat of unknown origin, possibly stray, always sitting on the fence or on the porch staring inside all creepily without blinking. Has beautiful black and white markings, a real magpie cat. Presents various carcasses to Lipton and sometimes live prey to play with. Once in a while, he lets Lipton groom his head and ears, but no human you know of has been able to catch him. Leaves half a rabbit on your doormat at night so that you can step on it in the morning.

Lipton - Is a huge cat with sandy-dark brown fur that stands every which way in tufts. Got bitten at the hip by a dog and almost died, but his owners didn’t give up on him and he healed with only a small scar as a reminder. He’s really nice and friendly, calm, lets children play with him and curls up on your chest to purr when you’re sick or depressed. Isn’t afraid of fireworks. Has disappeared for two days once and you found him in the shed with the bicolor stray, lethargic from an infection, but mostly warm in a box of work clothes the stray seemed to have claimed as his bed.

Luz - Long-haired siamese cat that keeps running around the house and meows for no damn reason. If you don’t pay attention to him, he tries meowing at different pitches. Seems to understand how conversations work, because he makes tiny “mrow” sounds when you talk to him. Likes to hide behind the bookshelf and wait until you pass by to attack-hug your leg with (mostly) soft paws, then runs off again. Gets crazy from laser pointers and can practically run up the wall chasing the little red dot. 

Toye - Battered stray that got adopted by Luz’s owners from the death row. One of his hind legs broke and healed wrong before he was caught, so he has a limp. He’s unfriendly and doesn’t like to be touched, keeps growling if you pick him up, and he has real sharp claws that no one dared trim yet. He’s a little on the thin side right now, but his new owners are trying to cure him back to health. In the evening, he likes to curl up with Luz in a nest they share. Doesn’t play.

Babe - Ragdoll kitten, isn’t mature yet. Purrs at the slightest touch. True to his breed, goes boneless and soft if you pick him up, and everyone wants to cuddle with him. Once, he got stung by an insect and his right paw swelled to twice its original size. Considers rolling onto his back and batting at your fingers as the most enjoyable playtime. He likes to go up to adult cats and jump on them or eat their food, but they don’t tend to hiss at him for some reason. Strictly indoor cat.

Roe - Slender chartreux cat who likes to groom your hair with his cute pink tongue. Lives with Babe and carries him by his scruff like a momma even though he’s a male cat. Been lost a few times before, so he became an indoor cat too, because his owners prefer to keep him safe. When it’s cold, he tucks his paws under his body and sleeps like a loaf of bread. Eats chocolate whenever he can, fishing out the wrappers from the trashbin when he’s naughty.

Webster - Mostly indoor cat, a white angora with blue eyes. Came from the best breeder in town, is a frequent contestant on cat shows. He even learnt a few tricks from his owner. He’s very docile and practically offers himself when it’s time for his evening brush or a regular nail trim. He can walk on a leash without trouble and wears knit socks without fuss. Stays still when his owner wants pictures. Has a sensitive stomach and pukes on the carpet if he doesn’t get good food, is allowed to sit on the kitchen counter.

Liebgott - Scrawny tabby streetcat that hangs out in Webster’s territory and sprays on the bushes. He and Webster get into noisy fights every week, sometimes through the glass of a window or the screen door. Webster’s owners are upset about it, fearing that Lieb is going to scratch Web’s beautiful face up, but once, they accidentally let Web out on his own and find him and Lieb pressing their noses together curiously. Lieb can be coaxed into a short petting, but he bites when he gets bored of it. Made the neighbour’s Rottweiler howl once by clawing at its nose.

Guarnere - “Tomcat of the block”. Goes out on his daily prowl at night and chases after the female cats, dropping litters around the neighbourhood for the lucky owners to take care of. He’s striped like a tiger and has an M on his forehead. He’s small but can be ferocious when it comes to what he thinks is his. He kept puffing up when he saw Dick a few houses down the street, but he entered Dick’s territory once, got smacked in the nose, and now he’s okay with simply keeping his respectful distance. Is on a special diet because of a urinary infection.

Shifty - An adorable Scottish fold. He’s a talented bird hunter and can jump surprisingly high. Was hit by a car once just when he finally got home from a vet visit, but got away with a few broken bones. He has such sad eyes that it’s a challenge not to pick him up all the time. If you take him into your arms, he headbutts your neck affectionately. Seems to stare at and watch invisible things sometimes, staying motionless in hunting position for minutes. He sleeps with his owner at night.

Malarkey - Used to be a fearful kitten, walking around staying low and close to the ground, but he doesn’t much mind noise now. Gets confused at times when things change, for example, it takes days for him to tuck in without hesitation when you buy him a new brand of food. Has his own basket next to his owner’s armchair and likes to hide there, sometimes sticking his head out and staring warily for a minute or two before settling back down. Sometimes, he wanders into the garage and gets oil stains on his ash-colored fur, so his owner has to bathe him regularly.

Talbert - He’s a gorgeous bengal cat with big green eyes. Very agile and smart, likes to play with pieces of yarn and loves climbing trees. Always greets his owner at the end of a workday by running up to the car with his tail in the air. His favourite sleeping place is under the rosebushes. Likes to lurk around in the dark at night, but sometimes that gets him into trouble, like that time when he broke a vase and got a piece of it wedged in his paw. Dick’s other neighbour, they like to sunbathe together.

Now, who’s who in the pictures below? And which kitten would you take home with you?

winters, roe, and lipton are officially the “we have this misfortune of having to watch while you all make terrible decisions despite our best efforts to keep you safe and healthy” club pass it on

Speirs: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Speirs: [throws water bottles at the other paratroopers]

Lip: Uh...

Luz: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.

Speirs: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Babe: [crying] It’s working.

Lipton: Look, you don't want Speirs to die. And I don't want Speirs to die. So let's work together to make sure Speirs doesn't want Speirs to die.

Nix: Fantastic plan but have you ever fucking met Speirs

That can: it’s peaches

Weekend pass: revoked

The dog: it’s mine

Brass knuckles: could use some

Got: a penny

I made this at 2 am after scrolling through TikTok. (And i love Nix but it’s very in character of him to say “im trash”)

Lipton: Shifty, we have to talk.

Shifty: Yes, Seargent?

Lipton: Stop collecting frogs and hiding them in your foot locker.

Shifty: Sorry, sir its just-

Lipton: Captain Sobel might knock it over and hurt them, hide 'em in the showers.

BoB ships explained with cats

Winnix:

Bull x Martin:

Luztoye:

Baberoe:

Webgott:

Speirton: