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Actually Borderline - Blog Posts
aosjdsidskfhfnfrgijfk ghnti ITS BEEN OVER 30 MINUTES WHY ON EARTH HAVEN'T THEY TEXTED BACK
My Platonic FP pays attention to me?? AND downloads my art I show them into their computer so it could forever be with them?
Guys, I'm so lucky o(*////▽////*)q!!!
(If they even dare to interact with others more then me i'll slit my throat open.)
my favorite comment section ever on Pinterest since it describes me so well
DEAR ALL SCAMMERS WHO POSE AS OLD RAGGEDY ASS SUGAR DADDIES GO KILL YOURSELVES I DON'T WANT A FUCKING MESSAGE OR A SINGLE FUCKING COMMENT FROM YOU GO FUCKING KILL YOUR WORTHLESS SELVES I'M A GODDAMN CHILD AND I'M TAKEN. GO FUCKING ROT IN THE JAIL CELL YOU DESERVE TO BE IN
anyways hi guys this DIRECTLY contradicts my fucking banner (positivity? haha not tonight!) but i want to not just crawl out of my skin. i want to rip it off! tear my organs to shreds! i want to KILL someone! i want to MAUL someone! tear someone to shreds! i want to rip my own body apart because the way i experience rage is so unique and i hate it! i hate it so fucking much and nobody UNDERSTANDS me. and nobody cares about me either! and god forbid my friends actually like. idk talk to me unless they need something. at least that's how it feels sometimes. I'M usually the one to reach out. do they hate me? am i too annoying and insane for all of them? probably! because fuck me i guess! might as well kill myself!
i'm not actually a suicide risk btw. this is hypothetical and overreacting.
"but it was a joke!" okay well your joke made me want to kms but thats fine since you were just joking ig
back from a vacation to the same spirals and work, home sweet home.
I can't form so much as a tear
but I seem to be drowning still.
but being numb/feeling empty is a whole another level of worse.
sometimes the emotions get so intense that i'd rather be numb.
I'm so sick of these destructive defense mechanisms that do protect me from getting hurt but at the same time trigger the fear of abandonment, because of which I employ these mechanisms in the first place.
What the fuck.
BPD makes relationships almost unbearable. I think I'd just assume be alone. Then we can heal. And move forward. Plus, being alone doesn't sound half bad. I won't hurt anyone that way.
brazilian bombshell?
growing up as the ugly girl maybe had affected me way down too much
i gained ten pounds and broke up with my boyfriend
Now i’m like the soul sucking extremely depressed and hopeless mentally ill instead of the manic 🌈💕🌸 mentally ill where i felt good but knew it was bad
i wanna purge so badly
i want to starve until I can't walk right and see stars
I want to eat everything that I can, maybe even just one bite of everything that I can reach until I want to throw up
I want to throw it all up once I'm done and then redo it
I want to be sickly ghostly hauntingly pretty
i don't really ever talk about relationship problems its always so personal my boyfriend is so good with words but wow 🙁
idk what to even say or think or anything
he doesn't even know about the really bad things about me too ☹️☹️☹️
he went back to being sweet and everything but I don't know what to do about it at all
PLEASEEE HELP ME
how can I tell if I have bipolar disorder
I reeeeallly think so but It feels fake because I haven't been diagnosed. I've read about symptoms and everything but idkkkk I get so unstable and then I'm fine idk what to do and I don't know if I should get diagnosed because then my mom would know and I'd have to take meds and I don't want that
Idk I like the picture
why am i even bothering with sobriety and cleanness at this point. all i wanna do is be high and forget how fucking miserable im gonna be for the rest of my life. just for a few hours. but i cAnT because tHinGs WoNt EvEr gEt BeTtEr iF yOuRe uSiNg. who the fuck cares if it gets better at this point? it obviously fucking won't. i'm trapped in this fucking disgusting body forever. the least i can do for myself is make myself happy for a little while.
it is 11:40pm. i logically know that my friends are asleep and not deliberately ignoring me. does that stop the mean angry gnome in my brain from telling me they despise my existence in their lives? absolutely not
and the worst part is that the only person i have to talk to, is said mean angry brain gnome. 🙃
because everyone else is asleep. 🙃
chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province
"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead
is anyone else's mother a passive aggressive cunt for no reason or is it just mine
how the fuck do you make friends.
everyone else in my life gets to go hang out with their friends and go home to their partners and i hate it. i really hate to say that i hate seeing their happiness. it's not that i don't want them to b be happy and lead good lives, it's that im a fucking dumb jealous asshole.
everyone makes it seem like them and all of their friends just clicked together. there was no awkwardness at the start and everything just went so smoothly. meanwhile i can't get past the awkward small talk phase with everyone and it's completely discouraging. I dont want to end up alone. i don't wanna be forced into the shadows while i watch everyone else have a life besides me because i just flat out didn't deserve to have one.
tldr someone pls become unhealthily obsessed with me and i will offer the same in return
you know when you're talking to your friend who you also used to date and they're talking about their new love interests and it's all you can fucking do not to lose your shit and split on them and just listen and congratulate them because logically you love that person because they are your best friend and they also love you but shit just didn't work romantically between the two of you but now every time they talk about it you wanna put scissors in your ears because you feel so fucking lonely and disgusting and unworthy of the thing that everyone else has but you don't??
no me neither
THEY REPLACED ME
theyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedme
they said i was their favourite
they said they loved me
they said that IM their number one
WHY DID THEY REPLACE ME
DID I JST MEAN NOTHING TO THEM
DID THEY JST LIE THIS WHOLE TIME
IF THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH, HOW DID THEY REPLACE ME SO EASILY
am i rlly that replaceable?
to that one person
no revenge bcz one day ull realize i only had the purest intentions towards u, i never hurt u, all i did was love u, n i hope ull realize it n that itll haunt u for the rest of ur life
you might not like me anymore but ill always love you. ill never meet someone who is as amazing and pretty as you, and, in turn, youll never meet someone whos even a little bit similar to me, and i hope that fucking haunts you.